One chance encounter can really add an uninvited fork in the road sometimes. I say uninvited because this fork was one that I had encountered before, and after much research and personal struggle I had found my way back from the wrong path and on the path meant for me and my family.
Yesterday one chance encounter add a 20 hour hiccup in my life. I met a wonderful person who had the best intentions of helping me discover possibly a new way to help Khoury handle the undesireable challenges of his ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). She suggested dietary changes (which I had looked and tried in years past), metal detoxifications, and nutritional supplements. I never tell anyone that I think they are wrong as they think they are trying to help. Her zealousness continued which I appreciate as she definitely had done her point of view research.
What I find is that those who preach a certain way to cure something are usually not taking into consideration the person they are talking too. She wanted to CURE KHOURY! Our conversation started innocently - she was a pharmacist and I was picking her brain about medications and possible options for Khoury as we have hit some huge pot holes. She quickly changed and went down an unsuspecting path.
I followed because I am a good mom and I want to know all I can to help him be the best he can. Then she talked about curing ASD. I bit! I spent half the night looking at clinics, insitutions, doctors, theories.... in the morning... I woke groggy and feeling miserable about myself and how helpless I felt.
So I turned to my therapy - get outside and walk / run the dogs!
I ran into a man who was returning from his run. As he passed I had the dogs sitting waiting and he commented - they are doing great. I said thank you and added - we are getting there - and his next comment sent me to tears - Aren't we all a work in progress, he smiled and continued on. I began walking because I felt it coming and I do now as I write. I don't WANT to cure my son, I want him to SHINE.
Now for my friends and family reading this - no - I KNOW Khoury does not need Cured and I do a lot of education to tell people that Autism doesn't need a cure - we need support for the proper medical treatments COVERED by our insurance providers, proper educational settings and systems PROVIDED by our educational systems that we pay into referred to as our public schools. A CURE???
Do you know how many FAMOUS people SHINE (in her mind suffer) are diagnoised with Autism? What would the world be like with out...
Courtney Love - yup the musician
Tim Burton - yup yup!
Daryl Hannah - famous actress
Dan Aykryod - famous actor
James Durbin - American Idol
Temple Grandin - amazing advocate and animal trainer (that is an understatement)
Tim Page - Pulitzer Prize Writer
Gary McKinnon - computer hacker who broke into high level governement/military sites (no I am not condoning the action - but he is SMART!)
Dan Harmon - creator of show - Community
Alexis Wineman - Miss Montana
MOZART
To those who say - Autism needs a cure - I ask why? Do those who say the rates are rising quick and its because of our environment - I ask - could it be that we are so much more AWARE and able to diagnosis that is why it is rising?
Please if you read this and take offense - realize I mean nothing to offend anyone for the way they believe - know that I am a mom, trying to find the best way to raise my family and hold true to the values of our life. Our son was created and born to give something to the world as was all of us - maybe his was to show me that I don't need to fix everything - because he is his perfect. It is the rest of us that need to understand that he is happy.
I am not allowing reader comments to this post - it is not because I do not want you to challenge my thinking - I think I showed that I am open as I spent the night researching what she talked about. But, I want others to be able to read this and not be swayed by someone's convictions who opposes this - if you are reading this then you know how to reach me. Let's met and talk, but please remember I am a mom on the eternal search to make sure her babies are happy, healthy, and loved!
Sunday, June 29, 2014
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Have you put the coffee in the Mayonnaise Jar?
I spent 14 years in the classroom and every few years I would do an experiment the first day of class to demonstrate Personal Wellness and Balance. You may have seen or read it in a facebook post or an email.... If you haven't DONE this - try it. I know it might be messy but it will forever be set to take time and enjoy life and the people around you!
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he filled a very large and empty mayonnaise jar with golf balls. He asked the students if the jar was full. They decided that it was.
Then the professor picked up a box and began to pour pebbles into the jar, shaking the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. Smiling at his trick, they agreed it was.
The professor opened another box and began to pour sand into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up lots of space. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space left by the grains of sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "Think of this jar as representing your life. The golf balls are the important things-your spiritual life, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your passions- things that are so valuable that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your home, and your work. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.
"If you put sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18."
Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. There will always be time to clean the house or fix the disposal."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he filled a very large and empty mayonnaise jar with golf balls. He asked the students if the jar was full. They decided that it was.
Then the professor picked up a box and began to pour pebbles into the jar, shaking the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. Smiling at his trick, they agreed it was.
The professor opened another box and began to pour sand into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up lots of space. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space left by the grains of sand. The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "Think of this jar as representing your life. The golf balls are the important things-your spiritual life, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your passions- things that are so valuable that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your home, and your work. The sand is everything else-the small stuff.
"If you put sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18."
Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand. There will always be time to clean the house or fix the disposal."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
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